I think there should be a royal family in America. I haven’t quite figured out why we should have a royal family, I just think it would be nice to have more people we can follow around with cameras. Actually the more I think about it the more potential this could have, especially for President Bush. Instead of receiving all the blame for America’s problems he could redirect all the blame to the royal family, even though, like the British Royal family, they would have no really authority.

I really think this could be an important step in America’s political future. Also it would be a great distraction from what is really going on in our country, “The dollar is worth a handful of dirt! Who cares the king was seen at the store buying hemorrhoid cream!” Seriously we need to look into this. America has been searching for a Royal family for ages—The Hatfield and McCoys, The Ed McMahon family, The Full House family, and more recently the Tono Romo and Jessica Simpson family!

I know this is a little bold but I would like to nominate my lovely wife and I to be the first King and Queen of America. I am arrogant, aristocratic and have a great fake British accent and of course Lara can be my trophy queen! (I married up big time!). So I beg you at this next election instead of actually voting for a candidate (like it matters!)—write in Tim Thorn and wife for your next King and Queen. I promise I will serve you well—only if you kiss my ring while kneeling before me. Maybe you could have some “Knighthood’ potential.

Also something else British we should copy here in the good ol’ U.S. of A is the British House of Commons. Has anyone seen these guys? If you get really crazy, and I mean like too many Smarties and cheap cola crazy, go to CSpan late at night, probably a Sunday and watch the British House of Commons. It makes our congress look like a bunch of sissy Mary’s. These guys yell at each other, they make fun of each other, people get actually get into scrapes, I’m pretty sure I heard a “Your momma” joke last night. I loved it. I really think congress should look into this—it will at least add some entertainment while they continue to get nothing done!

Your Future King