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So each year we encounter this interestingly crazy time known as March Madness. We all know how it goes–you get asked by everybody you have known your whole life to fill out a bracket. And if you are like me you really don’t follow college basketball until the tournament. So filling out a bracket is a complete guessing game, you have to choose between St. Joe’s and The Upstate New York Bible College Of the Trinity University of Albany.
I have never won. I have tried everything such as choosing those with the highest seeding. I have tried the upset special bracket. I have even tried copying “The Experts” but I have never had success. Until I noticed a trend. It seems, as many of you may know, that women who have never even watched a college basketball game, always win or do really well! The women choose according to mascots, jersey color, or cheerleader abilities. So this year my beautiful wife will be filling out all my brackets.
I know this will be hard because I’m sure she will knock North Carolina out of the first round and tell me she just doesn’t like the name “Tarheel”. But I am going to suck it up and go with the trend–women always do better at brackets than men. And this year I am going to use it to my advantage. (Don’t worry she will get a cut of the winnings–maybe!)
Just wanted to share with you my “incredibly manly, musky, moustache” quote of the week from a rerun of Baywatch I caught last night…
At the end of a boob bouncing, intense episode in which Mitch (Don’t Hassell the Hoff) falls in love with a princess (he doesn’t know she is a princess) and saves her life from evil kidnappers–we get this tasty scene: When the princess confesses to Mitch that she is a princess, tells him they can never be together, and lays a juicy one on him, she says, “I will never forget you.” Mitch fires back (this is the manliest quote of the week), “I will.”
Seriously can you beat that? This princess thinks she can just get it on with hot local lifeguards and that they will just keep hanging on to the hope that one day they will be together but the Hoff, the ultimate example of chest hair manliness fires of the “I will forget you line”
Plain and simple, that was awesome, and I was watching Baywatch for the story; get your minds out of the gutter.
“Ladies, don’t Hassel the Hoff.” (Sucking in the gut is a basic male reaction to topless pictures, as the Hoff is demonstrating here.)
I was thinking today about the best dance moves of all time. I mean there are a ton; the robot, the running man, the snake, the moon walk…but I can think of no dance move I appreciate more than “raising the roof”. You can’t beat it. You can do it sitting down, so if you have a groin injury you don’t need to stand up and possibly re-tear something. You can raise the roof during any genre of dancing it applies across all levels and it fulfills one important goal: no matter how hard a white dude tries, he looks totally ridiculous doing it! Especially when your belly button is seen while busting a move.
Can anyone think of a better move? I would love to know your opinion
You know what makes me happy. That congress has decided to go after Roger Clemens. Finally we get those blasted steroid users for lying on the stand about shrinking their peepees. The war in Iraq and Afghan, the faltering economy, the impending energy issues, immigration, all don’t matter!
You know who we should get next? People who steal their neighbors Wi-Fi! Athletes and Wi-Fi thieves are the downfall of this country…I think it is waterboarding time!
My favorite headline from today (as seen on msn.com):
“Congress asks Justice Dept. to probe Clemens.”
Shouldn’t congress be asking Clemens’ Dr. to do the probing?
Just a thought.
I was just thinking (which I try to avoid doing), somebody made a bunch of money last night on the Giants. A 12 point spread? It’s a good thing I don’t gamble (bad thing in this example) because I would have put the family farm down last night.
( Please note: I don’t own a farm.)
On to more important matters–ever wonder what they do with the losing team’s championship gear at the end of the game? And do you think they don’t even make gear for teams that are heavy underdogs? Can you imagine the sweatshop where all this stuff is made, “Damn it Jim! You told me the Giants had no chance of winning, now we got to work through the second half!”
Personally I’d love to get my hands on a nice Patriots Super Bowl 42 Championship shirt. How lame would that be if you were a Patriots fan and wore that to a game next season? “Well we almost won…If Tom Brady wouldn’t have been hurt…” That would be the ultimate fan in my opinion–so entrentched in their team that they are unwilling to admit defeat. Can you imagine their den, full of the pre-written championship newspapers (you know the ones they hold up at the end of the game) and expired championship gear. This has brought on the ultimate idea–what if I collected championship gear of the teams that never actually made it? It would be the ultimate ode to second place, which many of us can relate to…
Sadly I’m not immune to this disease because next week I’ll be sporting Ron Paul stuff around town.
Case in point, notice how the NY on Eli’s shirt looks like it was either A. edited in the picture using Adobe Photoshop or B. some poor sap worked through the 4th quarter ironing on graphics printed one at a time? Both are conceivable both probably occurred at some point.
My Super bowl prediction
Heartburn- 36 Tom Petty Lip singing - 27
(Patriots by 7)
