(Myself not included)
Last night the little lady and I were watching a little Television when I completed the worst exchange between stations to ever occur.
I went from Maroon 5 (Horrible band, I don’t care what you say they suck)
to
Kobe Bryant winning the MVP. Tell me that isn’t the worst change in history!!
I was stunned at such television barf. I went in my room and took a break to recover.
Dearest friends,
I have a perplexing problem. I can’t decide if I should watch the Jazz game or not tonight. Most people will watch the teams that they love. But you see I have a bit of a curse. Every time I watch the Jazz on T.V. in a big game, they choke like Latrell Sprewell. I can’t decide. Maybe I need to just watch until the Jazz suck (which they usually do) then turn it back on hoping that they turned it around. What do you guys think?
Your biggest fan,
Cursed in Utah
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354266,00.html
I know how he feels. I haven’t taken my Tom Jones endorsed speedo off since 1988. It’s a little snug.
I have been sentenced to Jazz fan for life. Friday was a good time. I and my lovely wife wore every piece of good luck clothing we had. I had my lucky Jazz hat, Union Jack thong, and rabbit’s foot (actually was a live rabbit I hung off my belt by its foot–it just wouldn’t die!). My lovely wife wore about everything she could find that would be lucky. In the end it worked and I didn’t even need to spill my chos’ –a good thing because I only like to use that in emergencies.
Now I am doomed to follow a team that will almost always be so close…but will never get over the hump. In a way it’s worse than being a fan of a bad team. At least with a bad team you know what to expect and when they are good it is a pleasant surprise. But hey I guess it’s the prize you pay for being a fan, meanwhile I will now die at 60 instead of 70 because I get so worked up watching the games. Do you think I could sue?
Just ate a catered lunch. It was make your own taco salad–it had nacho cheese sauce. Normally this would be a bad thing, you know the heartburn and gas, but I’m going to strike this up in the win column! (I didn’t spill however, but did get plenty on my face!)
All I’m seeing is good omens.
Go Jazz–unless they lose then it will be Go Nobody!
It is about 12 hours to game time. I already have one bad omen to report–I dropped my lucky Jazz hat. I was bringing some civilian clothes to change into after work and while placing them in my ride, my lucky, white, Jazz hat fell in the gutter. It now has a nice mud stain. Any advice anybody to break this bad omen? Should I buy a new hat? Burn this one? Throw on the floor at the game, like in hockey? Please help!
P.S. The good news–Although I will be eating before the game, I’m still going buy nachos and pray to the almighty that I spill them!
Ladies,
I need your help. I have a friend that needs your company, your romantic PG-rated company. You see this fella is looking for the right one. Someone that he can go on long canoe rides with while you talk about your feelings or that you can get into a squabble with and throw laundry detergent at each other. In other words his soul mate.
Let me first give you the run down of my friend:
Sex: Male
Height: 6 Feet (With out tall shoes–very impressive!)
Weight: 125 lbs ( In other words you will never have a fat husband!)
Hobbies: Girls, Horseback riding, Wearing lose shirts so his chest is exposed, staying out of sunlight, movies, hardcore music, guitar hero (plays on Expert!), photography, and anything you would like to do
Qualities: Will cry with you in a sad movie but is manly enough to chop wood or fix the furnace
Ladies this guy is for you. So I’m giving you this once in a lifetime opportunity to send your applications to me and pending my approval, set you up on the date of a lifetime*. If you have any further questions or would like a picture of this Zorro of love let me know and I will make it happen!
Good luck!
*Certain Restrictions apply, namely that you must be:
Alright I have found the coolest shower ever, mostly for one reason but you’ll see…
http://gizmodo.com/364647/100000-shower-makes-sure-your-most-valuable-body-parts-are-clean
A clean undercarriage is well worth $100,000!
I’m going to keep this real. I have been a Utah Jazz fan since I was a wee-tike. All those years I have learned one thing–never get your hopes up. Sadly I have never listened to that mantra and each year my heart is ripped out. This year I am letting fate do the picking. I am putting my fandom on the line Friday night.
I am going to the game. (I have an incredible playoff record I might add. The Jazz are like 10-1 when I am in attendance, knock on wood). If the Jazz win I will continue my fandom, and deal with subsequent years of dashed hopes and dreams. If they lose it is over. I will no longer be a Utah Jazz fan and I will add 10 years to my life.
It won’t be easy but Friday is judgment day.
P.S. For those of you who know me–I will be buying nachos. So pray that I spill them. (I have a 4-0 record when I spill my ‘chos at Jazz games–I can’t do it on purpose or they lose (0-2))
NBA fans, this should give you a good laugh…
